So for the last while my boyfriend, Tony, has been somewhat in limbo, too busy with his jetset lifestyle to have much time for me… so I’ve been filling up some of my time learning how to rollerblade! I figure, all those teen cuties hang out down at the beach in the summertime, and if I can rollerblade like a pro by then (well, I’m trying!), maybe I can pick up some fresh meat to teach the ways of women too (yeah, yeah we all know I just wanna lick em out!)

I don’t know if they have one in your town, but we have a rollerblading arena/rink here and damn, it amazes me how many people actually go to it! I thought it’d be over-run by little kids and old people there, but nope, it seems all those rollerblading cuties like to keep in shape during winter/spring at the rink so they can blade in style over summer. You know, maybe I won’t have to wait til summer for some hot ass and pussy snackables…

FingerBang Jan

As you grow up you always hear people tell you to be flexible and you will go further…sometimes they mean physically, and sometimes they mean inner flexibility.

PinkandPerfect.com models obviously heeded this wisdom cos they stretch like taffy and dont have any rigid guidelines they impose on themselves as to what they will and won’t do.

Mrs. Jones is movin on up (and down) and on MILFvixen.com, the last thing she needs to do before her move is pack her pussy—with some good ol grade A cock. Can you cum over and help?

Back in the 1980’s MTV’s Downtown Julie Brown had a hit single with the funny song that pretty much describes anybody who totally digs this movie, “I Like Em Big And Stupid”.

Mr 18 inches looks like Danny Glover after a month on a medieval torture rack while being force fed penis pills that work, and he’s supposed to be some kinda sub dude as these crazy chicks appear to fuck him and get him to lick their shoes etc. but he comes off more cool, like he’s Bad Bad Leroy Brown, the baddest man in the whole damn town, meaner than a junkyard dog and bigger than ol King Kong.

Once you get past the idiotic dialog and pretensions at set and scene, the sex itself is decent enough cos these are chicks that obviously love cock and appreciate a good thing when they have one, and they certainly have one in this movie as Mr 18 inches buries his cock in their pussies so deep that you can almost see the head poking out their mouths as they moan in pleasure.

Sadly other than their half-assed obviously over-acted BDSM skits and this dude’s massive schlong, Mr. 18″ and the Phantom Bitches had no unique draw to it and surely in at least one of the scenes they could’ve added an extra chick…god knows with 18 inches of meat, there’s enough for everybody to have a sandwich.

Mr 18″ and the Phantom Bitches gets a solid three cocks-up and could’ve been higher if their originality had been higher.

Another big part of being able to fuck her right like at FuckHerRight.com is having a cock long and or thick enough to really jam her

This chick can keep pulling that shaft and pushing those balls out of the way, but it still ain’t gonna get to the size that she wants to really fuck her right.

Ahhhhhh Valentines Day, time to be with the one you love, or at least lust after, and what better gift for a horny 30-something slut than an extra cock or two…the producers of this series of movies totally knows what I mean and these cum hungry slut-babes get slammed to satisfaction city.

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The sex is ultra-hot as in scene after scene these happily married chicks get it on while their husbands get to watch and in some scenes participate for a rip-roaring ultra-wet fuck-fest. I can tell you from experience that it is fucking crazy hot to see your babe getting fucked while she’s sucking you off or vice versa, and this movie does not rip us off as we get almost two very full hours of watching these wantonly wet wives also getting very full.

This sexily clad sultry slut from PinkandPerfect.com loves quality time spent on her own getting off.

Here you can see her experimenting with different riding poses so when she gets to hop on a cock later she can make sure it strikes all the right spots.

In my many years as a pervert purveying porn, I have seen a lot of whacked out and/or revolting and/or completely senseless fetishes…people dressing as plush animals, dudes dressing up as babies, or as South Park showed us, Japanese girls puking on each other, and Brazilian Fart Sex. There’s an insane range of different strokes for different folks out there, but above them all this is one that doesn’t make any freakin sense to me.

U-G-L-Y…these chicks ain’t got no alibi, they’re ugly… These chicks have no tits, no asses…I mean, we’re talking chicks that if you put paper bags over their heads, you still wouldn’t want to fuck them! I mean, why the hell would somebody film this unless maybe they were testing viagra at the time or something. All I can say is, unless you are so much of an ugly loser yourself that the only way you can feel good is to look at other ugly people…DON’T watch this movie. Butter Face gets zero cocks-up and if I could do negatives, I would…what the hell, Butter Face gets negative five gajillion cocks-up!

At the fuckherright.com labs, students of fucking her right get tested on what they have learned and what they have absorbed in their FuckHerRight.com classes…

Bzzzt! This guy fails on proper final approach for departure. He learned how to nail her…how to get them both off, but obviously not how to fill her tank at the end.

Sultry slutty babes are not always around, so take advantage of this Perfect & Pink pussy in hot pink!!! She’s all wet and ready to be fingered, licked, and play with toys, so get off the couch and see where all the best fuck holes are up for your viewing pleasure!!!